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Oct. 10th, 2013

[sticky post] Fanfiction Master List

So, I finally decided to make a master list for my fan fiction. This way, nobody needs to wade through all of the original stories and poetry I've written, or the nonsense random posts I make that have little or nothing to do with anything. :p

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the books, comic books, cartoons, manga, graphic novels, webcomics, anime, television shows, movies written about or depicted in the stories below, nor do I own any of their characters or settings. These fanworks are purely for entertainment purposes only with no profit or compensation being made and no copyright infringement intended.

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Feb. 21st, 2015


 Urahara blinked and looked over at Tessai for a moment as they both pressed their ears to Jinta's bedroom door. Were they hearing the conversation they thought they were hearing?!
“What makes it stand up like that?” Ururu's voice could be heard asking curiously.
“Jeez, Ururu, yer so dumb. Don't tell me you can't tell!” Jinta's voice was heard now.
“I-I'm sorry...Can I touch it this time? You never let me touch it...” Ururu said in a voice that sounded both sad and hopeful.
Urahara's eyes widened. Little Ururu was that curious?? He looked at Tessai, who seemed very disapproving. It wasn't that Urahara disapproved, per se, it was more that he was surprised. Then again, he supposed he shouldn't be. It had just been so very long since he had been a child himself, even though he was often accused of acting like one.
If the two were so curious about this subject, he would feel much better if they would come to either himself or Tessai, or even Yoruichi when she was around, to ask questions. Finding out through exploration was rather common, but not altogether safe. Even children as young as Jinta and Ururu could...get into trouble. He knew for a fact, though he didn't quite like remembering just how he had been forced to find out, that Ururu was not physically just a little girl any longer. At least, not when it came to her...inner workings.
“No, I don't trust you not to hurt it.” Jinta said, sounding defensive.
“I promise I'll be really gentle...” Ururu said in her soft, reassuring and slightly sad tone of voice.
Urahara nearly choked on air as he heard that. Sweet little Ururu! Did she realize what she must sound like to Jinta?? Not that Urahara was a pedophile. He was nothing of the sort. This sort of behavior really wouldn't have surprised him at all when it came to Jinta, but Ururu was such a...good little girl. Sweet and innocent...and Jinta was going to corrupt her!
“Well...okay. But just this once!” Jinta said, sounding the way he usually did when he was a bit embarrassed and trying to cover it up.
Urahara blinked in stunned surprise as Tessai nearly broke Jinta's door down with a mighty lunge against it, though later they would find it had been unlocked the entire time, and pointed a finger at the two children while having his face turned away from them...After all, he didn't want to see any little children in any state of undress or arousal!
“Alright you two, that's enough!” Tessai cried, quite loudly in fact.
The children blinked at Tessai as if he were certifiably insane as they turned around from some ceramic toy of a superhero from a comic book of Jinta's. Probably a collector's item of some kind that stood on feet rather than any sort of little platform. Which did make it not only one of Jinta's most breakable items but probably one of his most prized, explaining why he had been a bit embarrassed to be nice enough to let Ururu touch it.
“Um...stop what?” Jinta asked, too stunned to be obnoxious.
Tessai opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times before turning to look at the children. Both were fully clothed and staring at some little toy on Jinta's dresser.
“...You both have clothes on.” Tessai said, stating the obvious.
Urahara snapped his fan open and hid his grin behind it. This was quite a hilarious situation.
“Why wouldn't we?? I'd never wanna see HER without clothes on!” Jinta cried out in a horrified voice that was just barely convincing.
“Yes, Tessai, what did you think they were doing in here?” Urahara asked, his grin becoming wide behind his fan as he pretended to fan himself with it.

Super Nova

 Everyone had known going in that this battle was going to be difficult. One of the more difficult battles they had encountered. There were at least four Arrancar to start with, and several people battling each one. One of them had been defeated, which had been a real relief.
They'd thought that since there would be more people fighting the remaining Arrancar that it would go faster and hopefully with a few less casualties. However, this was not the case. Already, more than four Shinigami were down, one medic had been wounded, and the mod soul Ririn was down.
Nova was doing a good job of helping. He was mostly on the side lines, helping where he could when someone was in desperate need. He was probably the reason that while they head severely injured people so far they didn't know of anyone who had died in this battle. After all, Nova could only do so much. And it was obvious that he was getting tired.
He seemed to be watching Matsumoto quite closely. He had gotten her out of several close calls already. He watched out of the corner of his eye right now, while her sword clanged with the Arrancar's weapon. It was generally thought that this time they may have bitten off more than could chew by deciding to go ahead with this battle.
The problem was, now they had no real way of retreating. They'd attempted a retreat twice, but each time the Arrancar seemed to bear down even worse than before, forcing them to continue the fight. Blood splattered the ground in various places. If it had been from only one person, it would obviously have meant that whoever the victim had been they were dead. The carnage was lost on those in the direct fighting, they had no real time to look around at those still unable to be helped by medics, the green grass that was now stained scarlet. To take their eyes from their opponents at this stage in the game would be to commit suicide or sign the death warrants of their comrades.
Matsumoto glared at her opponent, a very large Arrancar with a nasty grin on his face that she wanted to wipe from his face. She was not the only one fighting him, but he seemed to take a liking to suddenly attacking her when least expected. Twice now he had got gotten her with his weapon across the abdomen or side by suddenly ignoring a weaker opponent. He had deliberately let her think his guard was down on her side, but she had quickly learned her lesson with this one.
She panted and again charged him, slashing him across the shoulder with her zanpaktou, causing him to cry out in pain. Once more she heard obscenities thrown at her, degrading her gender and scruples. She hardly took it heart, however, seeing as the source was an Arrancar.
More than once she had the feeling she was being watched, but naturally she thought it was just her fellow Shinigami fighting alongside her, as the remaining mod souls in this battle were not in her current fight with this particular opponent. She had no way of knowing it was Nova, unless she purposely looked around and she didn't dare.
More clanging, more cursing and several peels of random cackling from an Arrancar who thought themselves soon to be triumphant, occurred all at once around the area as a very large garganta split open in the sky.
As a Menos Grande appeared at it and began to force the garganta further open so that it could begin climbing out of it, several Shinigami made the mistake of taking their eyes off of their opponents to look up in startled shock. This was not what they needed right now. They were in over their heads as it was, they didn't have a chance in hell if that thing got through before they finished. And there was little possibility that they would get away first.
One of the Arrancar did not take advantage of this opening, she was looking up at the Menos Grande as well. But, the Arrancar that Matsumoto had been fighting took full advantage. He cackled loudly and swiped his weapon directly for Matsumoto's mid-section, hoping to cut her so deeply even a medic wouldn't be able to help her back from the brink of death.
Nova, however, was watching her instead of the Menos Grande. He was fully aware that it was up there, he didn't need to see it with his eyes to confirm it, but he knew it was a natural reaction and he worried because her Arrancar was bent on using any sneaky way he could to kill Matsumoto.
His hunch was right, though he had no idea the third remaining Arrancar was watching Nova, having realized he was the one creating the vortexes that were removing the Shinigami and mod souls from danger whenever possible and transporting the Arrancar into well-placed danger. He figured it would be prudent to get rid of Nova the very moment he and everyone else were distracted.
Nova had the feeling that he, too, was being watched. Watched by something most unfriendly. Probably one of the other Arrancar that the others were still fighting, but he dared not take his eyes off of Matsumoto. His eyes widened when he realized that she wasn't going to counter her opponent's attack, she no longer paid attention to him. He immediately ran closer, very thankful to Urahara more than ever now for the special power he had given to Nova. The moment he was able to transport her to safety, away from her Arrancar's blow, he felt a deep searing pain across his back.
This body was only a vessel for him, his green pill was the only way to truly destroy him, but he figured the Arrancar weren't really concerned with that. This one just wanted him out of commission, but he had to admit to himself it worked. He was not going to be able to fight in this gigai again, he knew that much right now. Not unless Urahara could get it and repair it.
Still, that did not stop the pain. He could feel it quite easily. The initial blow had not hurt quite so bad as everything that came next. Falling heavily to the ground hurt his knees, his chest and his nose, as he had the bad fortune to land directly upon his nose, which he was certain broke upon impact. But, not only that, it continued to hurt. The searing pain became true burning so painful he could not whimper even if he were prone to making vocal noises. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to do just about anything requiring movement.
He heard the Arrancar cackle, apparently thinking it had rendered him a killing blow and therefore his attention was no longer needed to focus on Nova. The fighting had resumed full force and from the sound of things, reinforcements had been called in, probably by the members of 4th Division who were there, and the Menos Grande was stomping around and screaming.
Even through all of this he listened for and heard Matsumoto cry out. Not in pain, but in surprise. He smiled behind the zipped up mask he had covering him from the nose down. She was okay, he had gotten her to safety. It was tricky now, since any area that was safe one moment may not still be safe by the time he finished transporting a person. But, he had done it, he'd gotten her to safety.
He would never be able to tell her, not now and probably not ever, that he really did feel deeply for her. She was a woman, she was a very voluptuous woman, and he was far, far too embarrassed to ever tell her the truth of his feelings. To ever even really let on. She would never know that he had not just simply happened to glance and realize her danger and saved her at the expense of his gigai's safety. Or the safety of his pill, should something have happened to knock it out. If someone crushed it or if the Menos Grande stepped on it, he would be dead had that happened.
He didn't want her to know, however. He liked it this way, this was how he wanted it. It didn't cause him great inner anguish to know that she was a woman he would never have. He was too shy to ask for her attention, to put himself in the way of it on purpose. To even speak to her. To accept it should she want to get to know him any further.
Not being human or a true human spirit had it's advantages with that, he supposed. A human would probably pine over the fact that one day she was going to probably find a guy she really liked, maybe even marry him, make a life with him, spend the rest of her...admittedly very long life should nothing intervene to cut it short...with the guy. But, this didn't bother Nova. No, not at all did it bother him.
It was a simple reason, however, as to why not. He knew it could never work with the two of them, being so different. He being what he was, and she being what she was. Each existing in different worlds. And it was just enough for him to know that she was alive, happy and healthy. While, of course, right now, she was not happy in the midst of a battle that she and her friends may not come out of, especially with that Menos Grande out there, even with the reinforcements. But, he could...and he would...hope that she be alright without his help for the duration of the rest of this battle.
The last thing he heard, however, before darkness truly descended upon him was Matsumoto's cry of warning, of plea for anyone on their side who had a possible spare moment to get Nova out of the way. But, it was too late, no one was able to move quickly enough without losing their own life, as well, as the giant foot of the Menos Grande stomped and flattened Nova's gigai so thoroughly into the ground that no part of him was not crushed and flat.
Within the body, even the green pill had been crushed to powder when a displaced and broken bone pressed it to such before shattering itself into near powder. Nova would never get the chance to know that Matsumoto was fully aware that in battles in which she was in with him present he paid special attention to her. Just that usually she was not the one that needed the most help.
Still, it would've been a comfort to her to know that he had died with a happy thought on his mind.

So Not Fair

 Shiro blinked as he watched Ichigo. He had to admit...it was way hot to watch the boy do this. It made Shirosaki give a soft growl.
Ichigo apparently heard it if the smirk on his face was any indication. Little tease. He knew Shiro was loving every minute of this. That would teach Shiro to underestimate a virgin.
“H-hey, be careful there. Ya got a little drippin down yer chin...” Shiro said, watching the small little white trail make it's way down.
“You say that like it bothers you...” Ichigo said, pulling back from his treat and slowly sliding his tongue out to lick slightly at the trail, though it wasn't in time to stop it from getting to the rest of his chin.
Shiro grinned. “Mmm...I wanna lick it off ya.”
“Well, too bad.” Ichigo said, leaning down while keeping his eyes on Shiro as he gave a soft lick to the object in question.
“Dude...” Shiro said, licking his lips as he watched, shifting a little bit in his seat.
“Mm?” Ichigo asked, giving a long, slow lick.
“Okay, I give! Vanilla can be sexy, too!” Shiro cried, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep from jumping the orange-haired teen.
“Ha. Yer an even bigger chocolate-lover than me, but even I know vanilla's sexy.” Ichigo said, taking a big bite of his ice cream and wiping off the rest of the trail that had slid down his chin earlier.
Shiro just simply sulked. He hated being proven wrong. Especially when there was no nookie in it for him later! It was so not fair!

The Art of Annoyance

 “I cannot believe you are doing...how disgusting...” came the voice within Ichigo's mind.
The carrot-topped teen decided to ignore it, the scowl always in place at his lips deepening a fraction. Okay. So...maybe he wasn't totally ignoring it.
“Eww! You did it again!” Shiro exclaimed, almost with a perverted sort of glee.
'Shut up, you're distracting me!' Ichigo growled in his mind, as he let his tongue dip out and slide between the area he was paying most attention to. He really had to admit, Tatsuki was right, this wasn't so bad at all! In fact...it was pretty damn good! He wondered if he'd be allowed to come over here more often.
“Somebody ought'a distract you! How can you do that?? How can that actually taste good? I agree it doesn't look all that nasty, but...ewwww!” Shiro shuddered in Ichigo's mind.
'Then stop watching.' Ichigo answered.
“No! It's like a train wreck! I can't look away! And, besides, Tatsuki's mom's gonna have a fit if she comes in here and finds you doing this!” Shiro snickered.
'She's not going to walk in on this because she's gone until tomorrow.' Ichigo answered. It was hard to concentrate on what he was doing with Tatsuki while Shiro was yapping in his mind and it was really starting to get annoying!
“But what if she comes back early??” Shirosaki Hichigo found it increasingly amusing to annoy or otherwise pester Kurosaki Ichigo.
“Shut up!” Ichigo yelled, pulling away from his lovely treat.
“What the hell, Ichigo?!” Tatsuki yelled, glaring at him. How dare he yell at her to shut up! She wasn't even talking!
“S-sorry...” He said, quietly, blushing at his own outburst, even as he was annoyed once more at the sound of Shirosaki's cackling in his head. He just knew that the hollow within his inner world was just so damn proud of himself for causing Ichigo to lose his cool like that, and in front of someone who didn't even know about Shirosaki!
“Well, don't do it again! And finish your taco, I told Orihime we'd be over right after we ate to let her know how they turned out.” Tatsuki said, still irritated that since Inoue had something to do earlier and Ichigo hadn't been at school that day, that she had to let him come over to her house just to eat the damn things.
“Yeah. Well, at least I don't have to feel guilty about lying. These are one of the few things she's made that actually taste good...” Ichigo said, trying to ignore the fact that Tatsuki was irritated with him.

Feb. 19th, 2015

Hands Off the Merchandise

 Hirako Shinji considered himself to be pretty damn stealthy if he did say so himself. Not that too many people would disagree with him. Alright...that was mostly because he didn't brag about it. And Hiyori would certainly disagree with him. But, he was pretty sure half the time she disagreed with him just for the sake of disagreeing with him.
He would never really tell her, but he was pretty sure that even if he said something she totally agreed with, chances were she'd disagree with him for the hell of it. But, he didn't mind. Truthfully...he thought it was kinda cute.
Right now, however, he was not thinking too much about Hiyori. Everyone was gone at the moment, or so he thought, but he'd stayed behind. The purpose was in his hands. He'd decided to borrow some of Lisa's porn magazines. Not just the swimsuit magazines, but the actual porn. Hey, he was a healthy guy with a healthy libido! And he wasn't getting any. So, what did anyone expect? Lisa's porn was cheaper than going out to buy some for himself. It was free and it was very accessible.
Sure, he could've just asked and she probably would've let him look at her magazines. After all, she was pretty generous if you asked her first. And, true, the breach of privacy if she found out would piss her off if he got caught snooping and stealing, whether he intended to put it back or not. But, if he asked, then they'd all know he was staying at home, looking at porn and jacking off!
So, Shinji had decided to rely on his stealth and just made an excuse to stay home and borrow some of her stuff.
Little did he realize, though, Hiyori didn't believe a word of his excuse and had made an excuse of her own so that she could turn around and come back to the warehouse hideout and check up on Shinji to see what he was really up to.
She was surprised to see he was into Lisa's porn. But, she figured she shouldn't really be all that surprised. She frowned a little, though. What the hell?? All those leggy dark-haired girls. They looked more like Lisa than her. Not that...she expected Shinji to be looking at porn with girls that looked like her...it was just...well what the fuck was so awesome about those girls??
Oh, right...the long legs and the boobs...Hiyori did have breasts...but they weren't big. Not like Shinji seemed to like. Not like that Orihime chick. Not like that Rangiku chick, either. And not even as big as Lisa's.
But, she was a small girl! What did he expect?! If she had giant boobs, she'd be disproportionate, she'd look ridiculous, and she'd have back and shoulder pain all the time in the worst way!
Still, she had to wonder why she even cared what he thought! He never seemed to even look at her chest, so really she had no reason to even think he had an opinion one way or the other. He just seemed disinterested in her completely. Which...well, that was what hurt the most. And, it was also what caused her to be so pissed with him all the time. That, and the fact that she was afraid of letting him know how she really felt. If she let him know she liked him at all, even a little bit, then she'd be just like all those other women that had crushes on him. And, what if he pitied her? Or what if he got a swelled head over it? What if it was both? Agh!!
This line of thinking was really ridiculous! No matter what he thought, or would think, she couldn't do anything about it! But, it still pissed her off that he was looking at porn of women with big tits, long legs, and dark hair. Hmph.
She suddenly kicked his door in, letting her reiatsu be noticed now. She'd been hiding it before. “Oi, Retard!! What the hell?! Getting into Lisa's stash without permission?! I knew that line you fed us about not feeling well was bull!” she accused, pointing at him as she yelled.
“O-oi!!” Shinji had been surprised, he really needed to pay better attention! But, he'd really never thought any of them would come back so soon! He was just thankful he hadn't actually had his hand down his pants or anything, yet...that would've been awkward.
“Don't 'oi' me!” she yelled again. “You're dumb ass is grass! I'm gonna tell Lisa!” she grinned. “I don't even need to beat the shit out of you, I actually feel sorry for you!”
“Che. I don't care, go ahead and tell her!” Shinji answered as he got up. He might be aware that it was dangerous for Lisa to find out, but he wasn't going to show fear! Anyway, he was half hoping that if she didn't sense fear in him over it, she just wouldn't find it worthwhile to tell the other female Vaizard about it.
“Oh, I plan to.” she said with a sneer, grinning triumphantly. This would be payback for being interested in girls that were nowhere near her type!
“Tell me what?” Lisa asked, having come back with the rest of the Vaizard to check on them. It was decided it probably wasn't a great thing to have them both at the warehouse together, alone. They were just a bit worried that continuing with their plans and leaving Shinji and Hiyori alone in the warehouse for as long as they'd be alone would ensure that they'd come back to find the warehouse obliterated. And, besides, worrying about that would stop them from being able to enjoy themselves. So, they'd just returned. Lisa had gone to make sure they hadn't murdered each other in the short time they'd have been alone together, when she had heard them talking about her.
“L-Lisa...” Shinji's eyes widened.
“What...?” she asked, wondering what the hell he was so afraid of and what Hiyori could've possibly threatened him with involving her, when her eyes came to rest on what he had in his hand. A porn magazine. No! To be exact, HER porn magazine! There was one thing Lisa couldn't abide and that was blatantly stealing her things while she wasn't even around! If he'd asked, sure she would've loaned it to him, but this was the principle of the thing! It was a terrible pet peeve of hers!
“N-now, Lisa...darling...sweetheart!” he tried to sweet talk her, but really it didn't work...he was sounding a little too panicked to be smooth.
“Sweetheart nothing!” She yelled, lunging for him.
Shinji flashed out of her way, trying to get around her and out the door, but Hiyori blocked his way.
His eyes had never been so wide when he nearly collided with her. He flashed out of the way fast, but unfortunately...Shinji was cornered.
The others heard the fight, but not even Kensei was about to go up there and get in the way! Shinji was on his own with this one.

Nostalgic Reflections

 Hiyori had not really thought about what she was doing before she charged at Aizen. She hadn't thought about what his Freak Squad, as she liked to call them in her own mind, were doing behind him. She had just simply had enough of his lies, of his taunting, of his arrogance! She had wanted to teach him a lesson, even if she knew how unlikely it would be that her attack would be fatal to him, even if she connected her zanpaktou with his skin.
She hadn't really cared that Shinji had been telling her, and the others, to stand down, to hold their ground, that he'd told her to relax her grip. More or less asking her to trust him, ordering her to think before she leaped
But, as usual...she leaped before she thought. It was normal for Hiyori and her red-hot temper. She was quick to anger and really there was no reason for Shinji to have thought she would do anything less that what she normally did.
She had a fiery, passionate hatred for Aizen. They all did, but Hiyori held a grudge harder and faster than any of them. While the others had been able to listen to Shinji and practice self-control, Aizen had known she was losing her grip on that self-control and had just as effectively and quite as easily said the perfect thing to make her come at him.
And when she had, Ichimaru had been ready and he'd taken her out. With more force and precision than he really had needed to, slicing her in half at about the waist.
It had surprised her, but then again...who wouldn't have been surprised to feel themselves cleaved in half? So easily...so precisely...so effortlessly.
She had barely heard the mocking little taunt that Ichimaru had uttered once he had seen that he'd succeeded in more or less issuing her a fatal blow. It was overkill, really, with no pun intended there. But, what did it truly matter at the moment?
What she had heard, though, was Shinji's cry, she'd never heard his voice sound like that before, and certainly not while calling her name! The next thing she'd felt was when he caught her, and set down on the rooftop of a building.
She was hyper aware of these things, because everything was pain and each movement, even the slightest movement, would increase that pain so far off of a doctor's pain scale that it probably didn't have its own number.
But, it didn't matter, because it was Shinji that had caught her and she knew that he was just trying to keep her from hitting the ground. When she looked up at him, the look on his face prompted her to speak, despite the fact that she knew it was wasting energy to do so. She had never seen a look on Hirako Shinji's face...quite like that, before...
“...I'm...sorry...Shinji...I...was impatient...” she said, doing her best not to sound weak or scared or upset. Doing her best not to sound like she was in as much pain as she was. Doing her best to be strong for him, because that look on his face...
But, as she thought about it...and as at the same time she was sorry that that look had to be there...she was kind of glad that it showed how much he cared for her. She wanted to reach up and touch his cheek, she could see the tears forming, and soon she watched them drip down. But, she was too weak to lift her hand, right now. She must be losing blood very fast. Of course, if she thought a moment, and remembered why she was injured in the first place, it was obvious that she would be losing blood really fast. Half of her body was gone. That was a gigantic wound. Not to mention how much of her innards must have been severed...
She had never realized before that he cared so much. She was his friend, he was her friend, they had a long, long history together. But, she had never thought he cared for her as more than a friend. At the very most as a brother would care for a sister.
It wasn't fair that she only now realized from the look on his face, the look in his eyes, that it was more than that. That she had, for so long, cried by herself about how much she loved him and how he never would reciprocate. But, he had! He had...and she just hadn't realized it.
But, he must not have realized it, either. He must not have realized that she would have loved to hear him say that he loved her. That she would've loved him to show her, even if he couldn't say it. Preferably in private, at least the first time, but...still!
It made her a little angry that they'd both missed so many opportunities, so many chances. That she'd let pride get in her way and that he had probably done the same.
She was still looking at him when she realized she wasn't really hearing much of anything, anymore. She watched his mouth move, saw the frantic panic on his face as he called out, to someone. She wasn't sure, she couldn't really hear. Her vision was kind of getting a little dark, as well, and she found it was impossible to keep her head up on her own.
She also vaguely realized that his hand was cradling the back of her head, now. He was looking at her again. She liked that he was the one holding her. If she had to die, she wanted him to be the last person she saw before death. She wanted him to be the last thing she felt before death.
It wasn't fair to him, though, was it? That he should have to see her this way, that he should have to go through her dying in his arms...But, she supposed she'd been selfish all this time. She could be selfish a little longer. It comforted her to have him holding her right now, bent over her in such a way that she felt both safe and protected, even if she was suffering from a fatal wound and was likely to die from it before long.
He was the one person that she loved more than anything...more than anyone...in either world that they'd belonged to.
The other Vaizards, Urahara, hell even Ichigo and Isshin...they were important to her, she liked them, they were her friends. Even if she didn't always show it, and had never outright admitted it. And she felt confident that they knew.
But, oh it was Shinji that meant the most to her. She loved him...she'd just never realized until now, until this very moment, that he loved her, too.
She wondered if they'd ever get a second chance. She could see, she could look back very easily, on their life together. Their life in the Rukongai. Their life in the Academy. Their life in Seireitei as members of the Gotei 13. The fateful night that changed everything. The underground training grounds that Urahara had in Soul Society, and how they'd worked their asses off to achieve some normalcy about themselves again. Escaping to the Living World and all of those many years there. Many years to humans, anyway.
Everything up to now, and the whole time through all of the taunting, the silliness, the sadness, the betrayal, the hopelessness, the sorrow, finding strength in each other again, her tough attitude and Shinji's nonchalance, everything had been a testament of what they'd meant to each other. She had just never stopped and truly looked long enough to notice it, to realize it.
Fate might be kicking them both in the ass right now, but would she perhaps be nice enough to give them another shot in another life?
She had always thought that when you were about to die, you always felt so serene. It was true she'd moved past the pain now, she felt calmer, and more clear-headed than she probably really was. But, she didn't really feel...serene. She felt accepting of her immediate fate, that she was going to die, and she felt comforted by Shinji's presence. No, not just his presence, but his touch. His gaze.
But, it was what happened after that that was bothering her, just a little bit. Whatever was going to happen would happen, but she was still hoping that they could be reborn. Though, she still hoped that he didn't die in this battle. Just that when it was finally his time, hopefully not until he was older than Old Yama was right now, that they could both be reborn together, around the same time. There was no reason to think that she had to be reborn right away, none of the Shinigami knew precisely how rebirth worked, just that it did occasionally occur.
Their life here was full of missed chances and squandered opportunities, but couldn't they have...one more shot? Just one more? To get it right? What was meant to be would always find a way, right?
She couldn't bring herself to think they weren't meant to be. Just because she was an idiot and he was a retard didn't mean that they should lose all chance, did it?
Hiyori couldn't help but wonder, vaguely now, what he was thinking. Was he thinking the same thing? Or something else? She wished she could muster the strength to speak again, to ask him.
Would it be right, if she could, to tell him how she truly felt for him now? No...no, she didn't think so. Why burden him with even more than he was going to be haunted with already? She could be selfish, but she could be a bit merciful at the same time, couldn't she?
She noticed him turn away, to look somewhere above. Was someone speaking to him? Was it Aizen? She didn't know. She just knew that in one instant when he looked at her, she saw the boy he used to be. She wondered if he was seeing the girl she used to be.
And his face looked so anguished, so haunted, so helpless. Was he blaming himself? He shouldn't do that...there was no way he could've stopped what happened from happening. She was just too hot headed and she had let it get the best of her. She'd put herself in this position.
Poor Shinji...for all his nonchalance, he really was a compassion and sensitive person deep down. She knew it was his way of acting tough to pretend to be so nonchalant about things. But, he didn't fool her with that. And she realized that she probably had never fooled him with her tough girl routine, either.
Heh...what a joke their stubbornness turned out to be. Their fears had led them to all of this regret. It was their fault, mutually, but her actual death was her own damn fault.
As her vision faded to black, at least for now, she found she didn't have the strength to fight it anymore. As she found herself unwillingly succumbing to the darkness that was closing in on her eyes from the sides coming toward the center, she thought she felt him gently setting her on the cement that made the roof of this building itself.
Why was he doing that? Was he going to fight Aizen? Alone? He couldn't...he'd be killed...but that was exactly something he would do, wasn't it?
Her retard in shining armor...if she'd had the strength, which she currently did not, she would've smiled as she lost consciousness, at that simple thought. She still held hope that he would survive this, even if she didn't...but either way, she hoped they would be reborn together, rather than becoming spirit particles or something of that nature.
She just wanted...one more chance...to get it right...

Anguished Reflections

 Hirako Shinji couldn't believe what he'd just seen, what had just happened. Why couldn't that damn girl just listen to him?!
Because...she was hotheaded and stubborn and that was part of the reason he cared for her so much, loved her so much. Even if he'd never said so.
Still, he couldn't help mentally berating her for her disobedience. This one, this one damn time! Why couldn't she listen?? She had to let Aizen goad her. She had to let his words get to her. Naturally, they got to everyone...even himself. He could tell. Aizen had been able to tell. That was why he kept it up. But, she was the only one to attack. She was the only one to lose enough self-control to charge in full throttle without any real plan, without expecting the sneak attack. And then that damn, dirty Ichimaru Gin had to take advantage of that.
That damn, dirty sneak. And fuck Aizen, too! He was the one that couldn't fight his own battles. Alright, that was only half true. He could, he just chose not to. The bastard. He was sure Aizen was getting off on this. He couldn't help it, though.
He couldn't hide his anguish over what happened. Calling out to her and catching her, he easily got them down onto a rooftop. What could he do? He couldn't let her fall. And he didn't want to believe what he'd seen was really as fatal as it looked.
But, for Hiyori to fall that way...it couldn't just be a flesh wound. And when he looked down at her, in his arms, bleeding and weak as she tried to speak to him, he knew that no amount of denial was going to make this wound any less fatal than it was.
“...I'm...sorry...Shinji..I...was impatient...” she said to him, an attempt to sound nonchalant while at the same time conveying that she knew how royally she'd screwed up. She wasn't one to usually apologize. She knew what she'd done to herself and to him. Her voice sounded as if she was trying to make it sound stronger than it was. That was likely exactly what she was doing.
And Shinji couldn't help it when the tears came, and he didn't try to stop their flow down his cheeks. Why should he? How could he?? Besides...Hiyori deserved to know that she meant so much to him that he would cry over her.
He called for Hacchi, but unfortunately there was nothing the gentle giant could do for her. He couldn't help but curse Ichigo, to call for him and ask what was taking him so long. Shinji didn't know what was going on in Heuco Mundo right now, and he didn't care. Nothing could be as important as coming back here to save Hiyori!
He looked down at her again, not even trying to stop the tears. He loved her so much and he felt that he hadn't been able to protect her. He should've sped off after her when she took off, he should've went over to her when he realized she was becoming hard to control. He knew that sort of look on her, he knew that simple stern orders weren't going to be enough. They never were!! He just never imagined.....but he should've imagined. He should've known! He should've stopped it! Or at least, taken her place...
Her body was so mangled...from the waist down...nothing...It made him sick to his stomach and to his heart and he forced himself not to look. Instead, he concentrated on Hiyori's face. She didn't deserve this. Damn that Aizen. Damn that fucking Ichimaru.
As he watched blood trickle from her mouth, he realized he really never had told her how he felt about her. Never let on, never showed her. It was just the way they communicated, they argued, they fought, they made fun of each other, she abused him and he took it. They insulted each other. They acted like brother and sister, but he wanted so much more.
Those little cracks he took at her, he hadn't meant them. Alluding to her flat chest at times, when she wasn't flat-chested at all. Small-breasted, but not flat-chested. He liked her breasts. But, that line of thinking was far, far from his mind right now.
All he could see, all he could think of, all he could hear in his own mind was how he'd missed so many opportunities. Hell, they'd had over 100 years!! How she deserved to know, even if she may not reciprocate the feelings, even if her only response was to blush and smack him with her sandal, or something even larger and more dangerous.
But, he never had. And as he looked at her, and the light leaving her eyes, and knowing that below there was nothing but blood seeping. She was losing blood...so fast...so fast that it wasn't going to matter how long it took Ichigo to get here, because it would be too late.
Maybe Orihime could still help...maybe....maybe not. He didn't really know or understand her powers, but Hacchi seemed to understand the extent of them far better than anyone else. That would make sense, they had very similar abilities. But, oh God...the damage...
But, if Hacchi believed that Orihime could save Hiyori, then Shinji would believe it, too. He had to. And he had to believe that Ichigo would get here with help in time. Preferably with Orihime. But, either way, he had to believe that Hiyori would survive, one way or another. Because, it was too much to bear right now to think that she wouldn't. Too much to bear without going crazy, anyway.
He wanted to kiss her, but he knew he couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to her. It wouldn't be right. How could he do that to her just before she passed? He didn't want her soul burdened. Shinji wasn't entirely sure what would happen to her if she died. Would she be reincarnated as some souls were? Or would she become spirit particles even here? It was hard to tell. He hoped rebirth was possible for her. She deserved a fresh chance to find happiness.
He wondered if she was even able to notice his tears. She looked like she didn't recognize what she was looking at, although he knew she was alive. For the moment.
He could hear Aizen goading him, taunting him. Normally, Shinji would ignore this. But, after what happened to Hiyori...he could just let that slide, could he?? Hell fucking no!
“Yes?” Hacchi asked, walking toward Shinji once more.
“Sorry, I know you only have one arm, but please take care of Hiyori.” He said, as he gently, very gently, laid her down and got up, turning toward Aizen.
He took a moment to look over his shoulder, though, for a moment. “At least keep her safe...until Ichigo returns.”
The truth was, Shinji expected this to either be a very long battle between himself and the man that had caused all of this trouble, or a very short one. And either way, he fully understood that he might die in this battle. But, he could not give up the hope that Ichigo could come with help that could and would save Hiyori's life.
“...I will.” was Hacchi's answer, knowing how important this was to Shinji. And Hiyori was a good friend to himself and the rest of them as well. He really would protect her with everything he had, even his life.
Shinji waited only long enough to hear Hacchi's reply, even though he knew what it would be, before he turned completely and used shunpo to stand in front of Aizen. He wouldn't let Aizen get away with what he'd done. All of this was Aizen's fault. It didn't matter who did the deed, Aizen was the one that set everything in motion. And if he survived this battle with Aizen, he would gleefully go after Ichimaru Gin and his damned Shinsou...
He loved Hiyori more than anyone would probably ever know. And he wasn't going to let Aizen or anyone else get away with hurting, disfiguring or outright killing the woman that he loved.
Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned? Ha! Hell hath no fury like Hirako Shinji who just lost his woman.

Hidden Reflections

 Hiyori couldn't help that she was in love. She couldn't help the way she looked, either. For a long time, she had always thought that that was why Shinji didn't notice her. But, recently, she'd come to realize that wasn't so. She had only thought that Shinji seemed to choose the bustier, taller, more womanly girls to flirt with or to drool over, but that was just what she had allowed herself to see.
The real truth of the matter was that Shinji was that way with all girls. All girls, equally. Well, that is except for her. She mostly seemed to be an irritant to him. Which she certainly helped along. It was part of her mask, her other mask. Not the one that proved her a Vaizard, but rather the one that she had had up long, long before that. A mask to protect herself, her inner self. To protect her feelings and her heart.
But, in reality, she had not been protecting anything. She had just simply been delaying the inevitable. She had closed herself off so completely that even the people she really wanted to let in couldn't get in completely. And she had done it to herself. Now, it was second-nature and a precious security blanket to keep herself protected. Even though that protection was now, instead, the weapon against herself.
It just seemed to her, that no matter what she did, she couldn't quite shake the usual tough attitude. She'd had it so long it was part of her now, and to change it would be to change herself. And it was only a hollow victory, no pun intended of course, if you changed yourself in order to gain love. For in that instance, the person in love with you wasn't truly in love with you. Just a new perception of yourself, a fake perception.
Still, it hurt that Shinji either didn't see, or didn't care, that she was so in love with him. And, at the same time, it was a huge relief. Because, she knew that if he did know there would only be two reactions that she could see him having. Okay, maybe three. The first would be to laugh hysterically, the second would be to tell her simply that he wasn't interested or perhaps to give her reasons why...reasons she was sure she had already come up with on her own a million times, and the third was probably the worst yet. She didn't want to see that pause that he would get when he had realized he'd made a misstep and hurt someone's feelings. And that he couldn't fix it. Which would mean that he felt sympathy for her, but that he just did not return her feelings. And those two things, especially the sympathy, were just too much for her to even take a lot of time to dwell on in her mind.
She felt like crying, but she wouldn't. Shinji and the others, they were just outside. It was likely that they already felt the shift in her reiatsu, the shift in her mood, which was so drastic. She didn't need to add to that by risking their ears catching soft sobs. No, that was unnecessary and it was an unbearable thought.
But, really...what was so wrong with her? What was such a turn off? Because, damn it, every single girl that Shinji came across seemed to be his dream girl. Sure, she knew he was a terrible flirt and with him flirting didn't always mean he was actually interested, but it might as well mean that! She was the only one he wouldn't so much as pretend to flirt with. He often flirted with Lisa. And if Masshiro wasn't such a child, he'd probably flirt with her.
The only person Shinji had never and likely would never flirt with, or show even the slightest bit of interest in, was herself.
What was so wrong with her, as a companion, as a girl, as a friend...that he couldn't show the slightest bit of interest? All those other girls...all of them...probably most of them Shinji had forgotten by now, long forgotten even. But, all of those girls...and not once had he ever so much as flirtatiously winked or grinned at Hiyori.
That was the only conclusion to draw in this case, right? According to Shinji, obviously something was the matter with Hiyori. She still often insisted that she was going to be a virgin bride, but who was she kidding? The only virgin bride she wanted to be was Shinji's virgin bride. And, aside from that, whenever she mentioned it, Shinji always seemed to get this air about him, or this look on his face, that said he was thinking, but knew better than to say, “yeah, right.”
Of course he knew better than to say it. She would knock his teeth down his throat. But, that wasn't the point. The point was that obviously did want to say it. And she knew it. And she wondered if perhaps he knew that she knew it. Probably. He made no real effort to hide it, so it was probably meant for her to figure out.
Why? Why was Shinji such a jerk? What about her was such a turn off, after all the years they'd been together as friends and companions, even as comrades in arms and fellow fugitives. What was so wrong with her after all of that history that he couldn't at least give her consideration?
And what was wrong with her? That she sat and pined away for a man that didn't want her, didn't appreciate her for who she was and what she could be to him? This wasn't like her. This wasn't Sarugaki Hiyori. But, at the same time, it was. It was the fragile side that she didn't let anyone else see. Ever. It was the side that had doubts and fears. It was the side that was self-conscious. A side that no one else got to see, but that was just as much a part of her as the rest of her personality.
The part of her that couldn't leave well enough alone, but that at the same time she couldn't allow anyone else to see or know about. The part of her that Shinji had only seen on rare occasions, very rare, and no one else had.
She wished that they could just go back to the Rukongai. That they could erase all those years, all those agonizing, slow years. Erase them, start over, and this time choose anything except going into the Academy. They could have lived happier lives in the Rukongai, it was sad to say. Or at least...more content lives.
There, in the Rukongai, she might have had a chance. There, in the Rukongai, she might have found happiness. But, she hadn't known then what she knew now. If she had...she would've put her pride aside for a while and begged and pleaded with Shinji for them not to go through that.
There, in the Rukongai, she might have been able to be Shinji's dream girl. But, now...where they were now, where they had been after entering the Academy...all other girls were Shinji's dream girl. Every other girl, except Hiyori.
And, that was just how it had to be. Because, she couldn't swallow her own damn pride now to tell him how she felt, and she knew that Shinji would never pick up on it. Or, if he did, he wouldn't reciprocate and as long as she was quiet about it, he would never mention it.
That's how it would continue. Every other girl would be Shinji's dream girl. Except Hiyori.

Perverse Reflections

 Sarugaki Hiyori would never admit that she felt anything more for Hirako Shinji than simple sisterly affection, if even that much. Usually, she would rather maintain her tough persona and make everyone, including Shinji, believe that she couldn't care less if she stayed or left.
But, today was different. Today, she was alone in the warehouse. Everyone else had gone to find something interesting to do, and no doubt Shinji was flirting with some random girl at the moment, wherever he was. He was good at that. Flirting. He flirted with all the girls. All the pretty ones, anyway.
Girls like Lisa, girls like Orihime. Girls that were tall and had long legs. Girls with long, soft, shiny hair. Girls with breasts. Girls that looked like the women they were supposed to be or would soon be considered. Girls that didn't look like her.
Hiyori had breasts, and anyone who claimed she didn't had probably get ready for her to introduce them to the female anatomy of the chest. But, she didn't have...big ones. She didn't have breasts that you could always tell were there, unless she wanted you to notice. Her chest looked deceptively flat, leading to the common misconception that she was or was the equivalent of a 12-year-old here in the Living World.
This was a misconception, because she was well over 100 years old, and she was fully developed in every feminine way. But, it was no hidden fact that she was short. Very short. And she had freckles. And she kept her hair in those pigtails. She liked her pigtails, she wasn't going to change them just to get attention from guys. But, these things, plus the way she dressed, often made her seem like a child, and a tomboy at that.
Definitely not the kinds of girls that she was looking at right now. The kinds of girls Shinji liked to flirt with, liked to fantasize about, and probably even liked to jack off to. She was currently in his room, having found his secret stash of girly magazines, hentai manga, hentai videos and anime, and trashy romance novels that were all about sex so that no doubt Shinji could picture himself as the guy sinking into the woman's....
Well, anyway. She knew she'd never look like these women. She'd never catch Shinji's eye like that. She never had and she never would. And she hated to know that. She hated that knowledge and she hated it with more of a fiery passion than she could ever hate Aizen. Which was really saying something.
She flipped silently through the magazines, seeing the way the women looked. It surprised her when she noticed a little wet splotch on one of he glossy pictures, and for a brief moment she thought it was something nasty, like perhaps the remnants of Shinji's last jerking off session. But, then she realized it wasn't anything at all like that, it was water. More specifically, it was a tear drop. From her own eyes.
She sniffled and quickly shut the magazine and put everything back where she'd found out. She'd be damned if she'd get caught crying over this stuff. She'd be damned if she got caught snooping in it in the first place!!
She didn't ever want Shinji or anyone else to know about her feelings of inadequacy. She worked very hard to maintain an air of toughness. So, that nobody would ever catch on. So, that nobody would ever feel sorry for her, pity her. She didn't want anyone's sympathy, certainly not Shinji's.
She had no trouble being confident in herself when it came to her fighting abilities. To her ability to keep her hollowfied self in check. To survive. These were things that she had never had a complex about. These were things she understood that she excelled at.
But, it was different...when you wanted to catch the eye of a man, but at the same time didn't want to compromise yourself to do it. Why should she have to change herself to catch Shinji's eye? And what's worse, what if she tried and he didn't notice? Or he thought it was stupid?
It didn't matter, really. She could show off her chest, she could put on a dress and make-up, let her hair down or put it in a more adult or mature style. And it wouldn't be her. And, it also wouldn't matter. No matter what she did to herself, she would never...ever...look like the girls in these magazines, in these manga, in the videos and anime, or the descriptions in these books. She would never be what Shinji was looking for.
And, that made her very glad that for right now, for this moment in time, she was completely and totally alone in the warehouse. Because, she knew that whenever she reflected upon things like this, she would never be able to hold back the flood of tears that slid their way down her cheeks.
She, instead, just had to hope that she would be finished by the time they began arriving back at the warehouse...

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